Are My Frustrations With Inconsistency in Dating Correlated With My Inconsistent Behaviors?

To say inconsistency annoys me would be an understatement. Nothing annoys me more than an unreliable man who claims to be interested in me. If we’ve discussed meeting for drinks or dinner I expect you to follow through. I’m not a fan of empty promises. But, why does inconsistency bother me so much?

About two weeks ago I found myself entertaining reality TV, which is something I don’t typically do. The episode was about a couples retreat focused on improving their relationships through healing pasts hurts. The therapist highlighted the importance of addressing personal issues in order to overcome those hurts. He instructed each attendee to write down their issues on a piece of paper and release them by burning the papers. During the show the therapist made a profound statement that caught my attention. He said, “In order to face your past, you must face yourself.” I totally agree with the therapist’s statement, however I would like to add another aspect to it; in order to face your past and walk into a better future, you must face yourself.

This concept inspired me to identify my issues. Guess what I realized? I am inconsistent. I used to be inconsistent with my job. If I didn’t feel like going – I didn’t go, but I fixed that. However, I am unreliable in my social life. I will agree to attend an outing then back out at the last minute. It is true that I do this mainly because I’m tired, but the fact of the matter is I’m being inconsistent and unreliable when I don’t do the things I say I am going to do – empty promises. When I first starting blogging I was dedicated to the craft. I posted new content every week. Somewhere along the way every week went to every other week or monthly. And in some instances I didn’t post anything at all - inconsistent. Lastly, the area in my life that should be my main priority – my faith. I am extremely inconsistent and unreliable when it comes to my faith. But, He is always consistent and reliable with me. Which brings me back to the world of dating. I’ve heard on occasion that we should be the person we want to attract. Furthermore, the people we date are usually a reflection of ourselves. If I want a consistent man I need to be a consistent woman. And that means being reliable at work, to my craft, with my friends and family, and most importantly with God. I want to encourage those of you who have frustrations with dating, or with anything in life, to try the exercise as I did. We all have issues, but the beauty of it is – we can work through them if we first acknowledge them.