Plus-size Fetishizing: Yay or Nay; What Do We Want – Sexualized Convenience?
When I hear the word fetish I think of an abnormal fixation on something that is not necessarily sexual. To be fair; there are several definitions for the word, one of which is a form of sexual desire.
During my resent search of plus-size topics on the world-wide-web, I found quite a few lists pertaining to the difficulties of being a full-figured woman. I admit that there were quite a few that made me literally laugh out loud however, there were others that left me a little perplexed.
I came across quite a few lists that named being considered a sexual fetish a problem with being a plus-size woman. I have issues with wrapping my mind around this so-called “plus-size problem.” I say this because can’t any body type be a sexual fetish to someone? How is it synonymous to plus-size women? Furthermore, I also think this is a very thin and dangerous line for the plus-size community to be on.
A few weeks ago R&B artist, Usher, was the center of media scandal when he reportedly settled out of court after being accused of infecting a woman with a sexually transmitted disease, STD. Initially, social media was running rampant with GIFs, memes, and tweets all about Usher’s alleged bumpy situation. But, that all took a back seat when the superstar’s alleged victim surfaced. Now our society is focused on doubting the so-called victim because of how she looks. Why would Usher be attracted to or even have sex with “big girl?”
The fact of the matter is, beauty is subjective. What one person may classify as beautiful or desirable may not be to another and there is nothing wrong with that. But, my question to the plus-size community is, what do we want? Do we want to be viewed as beautiful and desirable or the scum on the bottom of your shoe? How can we simultaneously be annoyed with being identified as unattractive and repugnant, and a sexual fetish? What is so bad about being sexually desired anyway? Don’t get me wrong – I know there are people who are only sexually attracted to us, but that doesn’t mean we have to give ourselves sexually to them.
Someone is going to find you and me unattractive without our consistent and the same holds true with whether or not they see us as a fetish. The only thing we can control is how we deal with it.
Towanda Stovall (Stylish Buxom Beauty)
